Personal Essays

It takes a simple idea to take root in the mind, or at least in mine. Bipolar is the soil and the delusion quickly takes root. I heard of a place, potentially fictional but whether it’s real or not is called Clockwork Circus. There is mutual respect: follow the rules, respect them and you’re safe. You’ll return back to where you belong, safe and sound. My free will however allows me to either be obedient or defiant and curious. I need an escape, my life depends on it. The sim

Hi, my name is Kailyn and you can call me just that. I’m from around here, from a home full of kids, love and emptiness. I’m just like you, except I’m not. I don’t look like you, sound like you or think like you. I’m made of my mother, a woman brimming with love, acceptance and some loneliness and a father who feels familiar but I know nothing about but I live for his accolades. Two sisters and a brother who look up to me, hopefully for all the right reasons, one can only hop

When we met I was dipped in tragedy and wrapped in remote solace. With a cherry on top of course. Now in my brief intermission of objective perspective I find I have the same reservations. Is this where I begin? Or should I start with when? I told my daddy I loved him and he told me to go to bed. I told my mother I wish I was dead, she held her head. When grandpa died, I pinched him so hard my fingers bled. I don’t remember much from my childhood and I’m not sure I want to,

And what do I know about belonging? I asked him, the one with silver hair. I can’t look ahead so instead I look down at the carpet through gray foggy eyes. A simple subject at first, yet the more I ponder it, it seems to become convoluted beyond approach. I surmise that it’s related to a feeling of safety. When do you feel safe? A byline I also can’t speak to. So, I go forth and, in the days to come I began to think that many of the things and spaces that I belong to are ones

After many realizations that have come to pass since my last manic episode I decided, after very little consideration to attempt a digital detox. It’s not that I am actually on Instagram, Twitter or TikTok that often but I started to realize that a lot of the content I was absorbing was beginning to become influential a bit more than I was comfortable with on my mental state. Actually to be fair, let’s say I began this detox before my last bout of mania because oddly when I’m